Week 3 - Day 1 - 'Seeing the light(s)'

Over the weekend I was asked by a friend "What affect do you think it is having over you?".

I started rambling and took the time to consider how I've felt before I started, how I feel during the practice, after, and to the current day.

I replied "I am becoming more in tune with What I am, as opposed to Who I am."

In other words, all the drama involved in being me has seemed to not be as seductive as it once was before starting the program.

I am feeling more and more as if I am not 'John' or any other relationship based label I hold in my life, more so I am a human being/animal/being on the earth. 'John' is just the title someone gave the movie which is my day to day life, at this moment in time and space.

While I've come to understand this intuitively while I'm sitting in meditation, in moments of reflection or in solitude, it has never 'become me'. I have always easily fell back into being 'John' after a few minutes of my life's routine.

The more I practice Wim's method, it seems as if it is easier to not get caught up in my life's drama and I am able to rest in the ultimate reality of What I am, as opposed to Who. Even when I was a regular meditation practice it did not come this easy.

I recall that this transformation was earlier described by Wim. Paraphrasing of course, the breathing practices results in toxins leave the body, and the vein highway strengthen due to the cold showers. As a result, the heart works less, resulting in less stress hormone releasing into the body. Less stress hormone in the body results in less anxiety, resulting in improved presence and mental clarity. Some have cited cold may be a 'cure for anxiety'. Knowing people with anxiety I wouldn't try to play that tune just yet, but it has seemed to help me in this area.

I know that my heart rate has definitely improved over the last couple of weeks in rest and in exercise.

I feel more balanced and not always in my head. I feel fearless, energized, resilient and confident.

The other day I found myself staring at my hands, moving them around in complete awe of the ability of the magic of being alive, wondering "How did I get 'in' here?"(my body).

Diving deep into the rabbit hole of such thinking used to give me anxiety and/or a feeling of disassociation.



So starting week 3, it is advised to do a few more breathing rounds, pushups, and no stretching or exercises after, and ten minutes of meditation. I was looking forward to stretching as my flexibility has improved 30% in the provided stretches.

Wim says that now since the nervous system has starting to clean itself through the breathing, we should be able to 'see lights', which is explained as either being the nervous system or a combination of that and the pineal gland chakra.

Times were better as now I'm doing the exercises in the morning.

130-200, 200-245, 210-250, 215-300, 40 pushups as I'm still pretty sore.

After this I did the advised ten minutes of meditation (where I kept having to remind myself to forgo expectations of seeing lights in order to go deep) where you are to focus your awareness on the center of your forehead.

After a few minutes I did see a strobe light in my vision.

I thought maybe it was just my eyes doing something weird, so I poked at the corners of my eyes to ensure that this light was not emanating from the range of my eye sight.

Much to my delight it wasn't coming from my eyes. The stroboscopic light was actually coming from the middle of my forehead, out of the range of my eyesight. I felt very peaceful and content. "It's really happening".

I'm now finding myself attached to the development in this area as opposed to the breathing and showers as those practices are on a slow incline.

This week it is asked that the cold shower time is extended which is easily manageable and it becomes less of a mental ordeal, and has become more of a 'lets get this over with' mindset as opposed to having such a strong aversion.